It’s Just one of them days!
Ahh! There’s nothing like sipping, slowly , a room temperature coke soda early in the morning. It’s quite celestial.
Who am I kidding? Myself? God? You? I mean , I’d prepare ice in my drink just like any other free world patron. Yet seeking ice on Texas Death Row is like asking Bill Gates for a loan so I can build my own Enron company, instead of seeking my freedom or having Lady GaGa take me to a prom in her month old ‘Raw Meat’ outfit. Not going to happen.
I started to give this article a sugary title like : Though I’m on D/R I still smile/ Or I’m at peace in my heart.
I’m sure many of you readers would appreciate my rhapsodizing mendaciousness better than my elucidative axioms. Being lied to when favorable, is better than hearing the truth for so many, which allows them to sleep better at night.’was Uuerlebet, kann. Keine macht der welt dir rauben is German for ‘what we have or are experiencing needs to be told in all factuality. If you truly want to help me or others like me, encourage us to be candid, to be honest with our feelings and our situations (legal)
You know I used to love writing. Use to write to several publications and websites that welcomed my articles/ Writing was once therapeutic to my psyche. This is my first article in nearly two years, just lost all interest. I mean let’s be real here, can any of you honestly admit that you could live in your bathroom with your head laying next to your toilet, day in and day out, year after year? Thought not.
Many adored my writings, not because my penmanship was crafty or witty, rather provacative and laconic.. you knew when I wrote I spoke reality. You knew that if I told you it’s just one of them days, when I was lonely, scared. Incomplete or unattractive then that’s what it was some days I may be jovial, inspiring or invigorating, some days I feel like a nut (as that 80’s commercial song) and some days I don’t. The constant unknown creates an emotional EBB and flow that makes me and others here on Texas Murderous Row feel like de facto Enigmas.
I understand this is a family-friendly publication, so I”ll keep my “sailor mouth” in check, but sometimes, sometimes I just want to stand on the top of mount Kilinanjaro with a massive bull horn and drop a definitum F-bomb and a few klss my Richard Pryors, not to be cute in search of attention, but to release this aggravated frustration that builds within me on a daily basis. A frustration that ‘No one’ in th e free world can ever empathize with.
Every and I mean Every obligation of humanity’s code of morality is being violated here in American Judicial practices. I mean it’s ok for American authorities to execute men/women under idiotic laws like the Law of Parties, where the system will acknowledge the people under these laws “did not kill any one” Yet at the same time American Officials have the audacity to claim China, Libya and Iran are uncivilized with the executions of their own citizens, Now isn’t that the pot calling the Skillet black?
Am I supposed to just sit idle on my bunk like a disciplined monk and say nothing? Express false feelings just so that you all can think I am okay, when I really am not? Yeah, right, sure, Wink…. wink. I’m not a monicle . I have two eyes that see perfectly clear. I am a neoteric abd walk my own walk. I don’t live in a castel fighting 30ft tall dragons just to get the attention of a princess. I’m on Texas Death Row, where misery is all around, you can’t avoid it.
I have witnessed grown men lose their minds and too many who lost their lives, I’ve fought my own depression and deprivation for years- just longing for the simple things in life that so many take for granted, without realizing they are taking it for granted. Man should not live alone, without a woman. So it was written. Iwould l.ove to eat healthy foods that aren’t designed to trigger a cancer within me or awake in a clean air environment where the vents don’t circulate the mists from hepatitis germs fire smoke or mysterious black soot that in my paranoid state of mind It actually looks as if it’s alive breathing on its own like the evolutionist mucus goo big bang theory that allegedly came from mars or saturn.
No my friends there is nothing funny about being on Texas Death Row there is nothing that would ever suggest contentment on my part no freedom no peace. Then again, it’s just one of them days.
Written by Charles Chucky Mamou February 2012